'My neighbour treats me like personal assistant and one demand put me at breaking point'

A woman, whose elderly neighbour kept asking her and her partner to do things around the house for her, has reached her breakingpoint. She now admits she wants "nothing to do" with the old woman.

The resident "felt bad" because she "has health problems," but she was at "breaking point" with everything. On Reddit, she said: "When we first moved in, she seemed nice and would just wave or chat a bit. But it turned into constantly knocking on our door asking for help with everything."

The favours started off "small," but then they spiralledinto bigger and bigger asks. She explained: "It started small, like helping her carry groceries or take out her trash. I didn’t mind at first. But now it’s asking for money, wanting us to pick up all her shopping, even wanting me to buy her wine and cigarettes. She once sent me a whole list of stuff with brands and quantities, like I was her Instacart".

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The woman shared that her partner is "too polite to say no" and wants to help the elderly woman to be a good Samaritan. However, "she always guilts him if he hesitates" which naturally does make him feel bad.

The good Samaritan reached breaking point when the elderly neighbour asked her husband to start doing chores too. She recalled: "Last time he went over just to help her fix her TV remote, she tried to get him to stay and mop her floor. She acts all helpless until you’re there, then suddenly you’re doing chores...

"I hate feeling like the villain, but I want nothing to do with her at this point. I don’t want to hear her knocking. I don’t want to have to pretend I’m not home. I just want to live here without feeling like I'm her unpaid caretaker. It makes me feel so cold, but I'm done."

In the comments, people said the neighbour was treating them like that because they "allow it," urging them to "learn to say no".

Another fumed: "Oh my word, I hate these [posts]. The original poster's always make it sound like someone has a freaking gun to their head if they don't do these stupid things".

"I do agree with your sentiment, however there is a surprising amount of people who do not either know how to say no or they are scared to for some reason," somebody responded.

A Redditor said: "The problem is that the first time you say 'yes', there doesn't seem to be any reason not to. You're just being neighbourly, after all, and that's a good thing.

"You find yourself getting sucked in one neighborly little 'yes' at a time. When it gets to the point where the original poster is, the relationship will end (probably somewhat badly) no matter how you decide to say 'no'."

Someone shared that her partner needs to say no soon, writing: "They will need to work on this. Imagine if you had children or pets and they couldn’t find the inner strength to say no when necessary.

"Perhaps it would help to have a script ready before they go over there like 'oh you poor dear, I realise some things are hard when you reach this stage. I will call X right away (council, doctor, social services?) and let them know that you are having trouble doing Y or Z yourself.

"If she really needs the help, alerting someone would be necessary for her safety. If she doesn’t actually need assistance, then she might stop if she thinks she’ll have to deal with meddling interference".